music/art/work
May. 8th, 2023 01:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saint_duke so this past weekend i took a trip down to atlanta with a group of friends for a music festival; most of it was just sitting around, but i had a fun time. my second fave band got to play on the big main stage and its been so long since i last saw them live
i missed em
i somehow got 7 blisters on one foot though. there was a lot of walking around to get to the different stages over the weekend. no one else had any problems but me, but its my own fault bc i chose fashionable shoes over functional ones.
goddamn tho, do my feet hurt.
---
ART
im......not allowed to say which zine it is specifically, but! i got accepted as a writing contributer for a zine i applied to a while ago and im so excited about it. its going to be physical, and have merch bundle. thisll be....... the first ever time my writing has been published in a physical media. i already know what i want to write too
over the weekend my sister and her boyf got into some BIG family drama, which resulted in me having to refund her boyf's brother a huge chunk of money for a commission. her boys bro has been basically banished from all friend circles, and he requested a refund before being ollied out.
on the one hand, im relieved bc that comm was kicking my ass (i dont draw plate armor!) and i didnt want to do it, but on the other, it was a lot of money and im.......very, very broke now after giving him his money back
which leads me to........
---
WORK
as much as i love this job, i want to quit, but only bc my feet really hurt and the days tend to drag. i worked a week straight without any days off, and the day before my lil mini vacation started i called in faking sick bc i was too tired to get out of bed. really, truly, and just deeply bone-tired.
(except, i didnt call, really; i texted my main boss a half hour before my shift started but she apparently didnt see it, so a few hours later my other two bosses texted me asking where i was. i then had to explain how i texted the main lady and bhghb)
i feel really bad about it and now ive got it in my head that they hate me and wont want to see me again, which i know is just my anxiety but.....man
ive been thinking a lot about dying lately, too, as a result. not because im feeling particularly suicidal, but im just so tired that i thought, 'i cant wait till im dead, then ill finally be able to rest'
the thought kinda spooked me but it was also comforting at the same time. eventually i wont have to do anything anymore. i dont believe in an afterlife, so im not sure why that would be something that brings me comfort to think about, but it did. one day i wont be tired anymore, bc i simply wont be alive to feel it.
im just tired, man. i always am, but im feeling it stronger lately.
i missed em
i somehow got 7 blisters on one foot though. there was a lot of walking around to get to the different stages over the weekend. no one else had any problems but me, but its my own fault bc i chose fashionable shoes over functional ones.
goddamn tho, do my feet hurt.
---
ART
im......not allowed to say which zine it is specifically, but! i got accepted as a writing contributer for a zine i applied to a while ago and im so excited about it. its going to be physical, and have merch bundle. thisll be....... the first ever time my writing has been published in a physical media. i already know what i want to write too
over the weekend my sister and her boyf got into some BIG family drama, which resulted in me having to refund her boyf's brother a huge chunk of money for a commission. her boys bro has been basically banished from all friend circles, and he requested a refund before being ollied out.
on the one hand, im relieved bc that comm was kicking my ass (i dont draw plate armor!) and i didnt want to do it, but on the other, it was a lot of money and im.......very, very broke now after giving him his money back
which leads me to........
---
WORK
as much as i love this job, i want to quit, but only bc my feet really hurt and the days tend to drag. i worked a week straight without any days off, and the day before my lil mini vacation started i called in faking sick bc i was too tired to get out of bed. really, truly, and just deeply bone-tired.
(except, i didnt call, really; i texted my main boss a half hour before my shift started but she apparently didnt see it, so a few hours later my other two bosses texted me asking where i was. i then had to explain how i texted the main lady and bhghb)
i feel really bad about it and now ive got it in my head that they hate me and wont want to see me again, which i know is just my anxiety but.....man
ive been thinking a lot about dying lately, too, as a result. not because im feeling particularly suicidal, but im just so tired that i thought, 'i cant wait till im dead, then ill finally be able to rest'
the thought kinda spooked me but it was also comforting at the same time. eventually i wont have to do anything anymore. i dont believe in an afterlife, so im not sure why that would be something that brings me comfort to think about, but it did. one day i wont be tired anymore, bc i simply wont be alive to feel it.
im just tired, man. i always am, but im feeling it stronger lately.
